The More Things Change

Posted on January 27, 2012 by BYOO

… the more they stay the same. ~Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr

Unfortunately.

 

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Broken Promises and Wasted Potential

Posted on July 5, 2011 by BYOO

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Honesty matters to me. If I tell you I’m going to do something, I do it. That’s one of the things that has helped me keep the weight off.

Once I decided to take the extra weight off, and really decided to do it, that was it. I stopped lying to myself, and I stopped breaking promises to myself. I expect that people are going to do the same. I know that isn’t always the case, but I believe it’s important to hold myself and others to a standard. I don’t need people in my life who lie to me. I’ve earned that honesty. Yes, it might be painful, but through that pain you find growth.

After a year of putting it off, I finally sat down to start reading Bill Phillips’ book Transformation. For many reasons, the book has been a difficult thing for me to look at. It reminds me of broken promises.

I came to the chapter on making amends and found myself grinding my teeth. Last year Bill promised that he was going to reach out and make amends to people he’d hurt. It’s nearly a year later and still nothing. I was served with a cease and desist letter. I don’t quite consider that making amends. Be honest with me. If you have no intention to make amends, then don’t. But don’t set my expectations for something you aren’t going to deliver.

In a way, that sums up my whole experience with Transformation.com. There was so much potential to the site. There were people who believed in the message, and people who wanted to help make the world a better place.  There was a promise there, a promise that if you worked hard and followed the rules that you could help make the world a better place.

Yet behind the curtain, it was a different story. Words and actions never seemed to line up.

I can’t, and I won’t live like that.

I read that Bill recently suffered a major injury. He apparently tore his quadriceps tendons on both legs. A bilateral quadriceps tendon rupture is a very rare injury according to the sites I’ve Googled.

Bill is describing it as a result of an old athletic injury. I find myself wondering what the real story is. I hate that. I hate that I have to go through life second guessing what people say and do as a result of what happened on T.com.

It all comes back to broken promises and wasted potential. I spent a lifetime, my lifetime, hiding from things I thought I couldn’t ever do. Because of Body-for-LIFE, I don’t do that anymore. I’m no longer scared or embarrassed of my body when I go shopping or to the beach. I’ve tackled rock walls and ziplines and spoken in public about my weight loss journey. I’ve done things I never believed I’d be able to. I’ve learned to stand up and let my voice be heard. I’ve learned that doing feared things first is the way to live.

Three years ago, I decided I wanted to be the change. I didn’t know what that would look like. I thought T.com was going to be the way to be the change. In some ways it has been. I’ve changed for the better, become stronger, and learned so much. But I still want more. I want what T.com could have been. I still want that place where the people who are successful can reach the people who haven’t been yet. I want people to see that it is possible to lose weight, keep it off, and in the process discover the person you’ve always wanted to be, the person you were meant to be.

I don’t want to lose one more day. I still don’t know what it’s going to look like, but I still want to be the change.

How can we take all that wasted potential and make it into something amazing?

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Follow up – The Internet is Not Your Therapist

Posted on June 30, 2011 by BYOO

by Guest Blogger Clara K. Showalter

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So it looks like this idea struck a real nerve with people. It’s resulted in a ton of interesting offline conversations with folks.

For clarification purposes - I’ve been reminded that originally the Transformation website was actually open for people to read, not post. That just re-enforces my level of horror that people were posting these kinds of deep, dark secrets to the world at large.

I mean come on, posting that you are having an illicit affair and your husband doesn’t know about it yet is bad. Posting it where anyone with half a brain and Google can find it? That’s just asking for trouble. The site was then closed up, requiring you to be a member and log in to view things. Still troubling, but at least you couldn’t be exposed in a drive by type of situation.

Now the site is again open AND there’s the added bonus that people can wander in and randomly tweet out your blog entries. This isn”t such a big deal if you are just joining and can see that entries can be tweeted out. It’s a big deal if you posted information and you didn’t expect it to be republished.

It’s a bigger deal when you have information on that type of site and no longer have the ability to remove that information. People who’ve been removed from the site can’t delete their blogs. Yet someone can come in there and republish that information.

This begs the question – if you are removed from a website for any reason, should you lose your ability to control information that you put onto that site?

Thoughts? Comments?

Read Clara’s other Musings at

http://clarashowalter.wordpress.com/

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The Internet is Not Your Therapist

Posted on June 27, 2011 by BYOO

by Guest Blogger Clara K. Showalter

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The internet is not your therapist.

This thought keeps bouncing through my mind this week as I consider the ramifications of social media and the shrinking of on-line privacy. It’s not your priest, rabbi, or pastor. It’s not a lawyer. The internet is not the place to go with information that you’d rather keep confidential.

The internet can create a false sense of intimacy and privacy. It’s funny when you think about it. Parents closely monitor where their children go in real life and on-line. They don’t always do a good job of thinking through what they themselves do or say on-line.

A few years back I was spending time on an internet wellness community called Transformation.com. It was started by Bill Phillips, the originator of the Body-for-LIFE program. I’d used the program with great success, and like many BFLers, was interested to see what Bill’s new program would be. Transformation.com was not BFL. The site had a much greater focus on mindset, with workouts and nutrition taking on a secondary role. For real deep and meaningful transformations, you needed to get your mind right.

What alarmed me was the emphasis placed on opening up and revealing things which might be holding you back. There was a particular discussion which started up that just floored me. People were encouraged to reveal concealments, things which they’d been hiding from others which were holding them back. This is a variation of Alcoholics Anonymous step 5, where you reveal to another the exact nature of your wrongs.

I watched in horror as people stepped up and revealed things they had never discussed with others. These admissions ran the gamut from illegal drug use, to theft, to acts of violence against animals and people. People admitted to affairs, abortions, and then confessed that they’d never told their partners about these actions.

There was a very important element missing in these confessions. Because they occurred in a public discussion area, there was no confidentiality. None. Zip. Nada. The only protection these folks had was the site required a login to read forums. That’s it. When it was brought up that this may not be the best venue to discuss these things, the counter argument was that people in the forum would never betray the trust of other forum members.

Why do I focus on this? Because two years later those discussion forums are now open to the public. There’s no password required. Nothing stops you from wandering over there to read anything you chose. You can now wander over and republish blogs without the permission of the blogger. All you need to do is push the Facebook or Twitter button.

There was a good bit of peer pressure to post your deep, dark secrets.  It was almost a contest with some folks to see who could come up with the best issue. Now that information is out there, with potentially identifying information which could allow the wrong people to find it. Privacy laws don’t help here. There’s no law which can undo the impact of the send button.  Once the information is seen, you can’t unsee it.

If you do not want your kids to know about the wild partying you did in college, best not to go publishing that information in your blog. If you were addicted to drugs and don’t want employers to know that, then don’t go out there and discuss drug addiction and rehab. If you don’t want your insurance company to know that you dislocated your shoulder, then do not go discussing it in your Twitter feed.

If you need to share things which are holding you back, seek a professional with an obligation to protect your information. Remember that personal trainers, life coaches, gurus, and “doctors” without degrees or licenses to their name have no obligation to keep your information private. Do your homework. Take steps to protect yourself. Don’t assume that a website is going to keep your private information private.

Private online is not the same as private in real life. Remember, the internet is not your therapist.

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Read Clara’s other Musings at

http://clarashowalter.wordpress.com/

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The End? It’s More Like Beginning

Posted on May 5, 2011 by BYOO

Beginnings – Part One of Three

The Middle – Part Two of Three

Part Three of Three begins here…

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True transformation isn’t about a scale number or a visual aesthetic. It’s about becoming something bigger, something more than the sum of your parts. It’s about pushing yourself to new places and believing in the impossible. It’s about leading by example and teaching others. It’s about facing down your fears and overcoming new obstacles as they come up. It’s about continuing to dream big, chasing those dreams, and eventually catching them.  It’s about finding inner peace.

The initial transformation is only a small part of the whole. I made those changes and started looking for others who had also done something similar. Listening to the stories of others who were walking the same path introduced me to some amazing people. I found women like me who had made changes to their lives and were now looking for a new way to pay things forward. It wasn’t about being famous or having glory. It was about finding the words to help others on their journey. It was about seeing a face light up when they hear a story they connect with. In those words, through my story, people could find a thread which resonated. It was something they could grab on to and start to weave a new story for themselves.

This was the idea behind the Five-for-LIFE challenge. Five women who had individually used Body-for-LIFE to help themselves lose significant amounts of weight came together and decided to do a group challenge with a single purpose — to show people there is hope. They came together to show other people that they could indeed do this and that they weren’t alone.

Over a 12 week Body-for-LIFE group challenge, these remarkable women pushed each other to reach for new personal bests. Some changes were physical, some were emotional, and all of them were made possible because it was a team effort. You think sometimes that you are done with all your steps. You aren’t. You just keep finding new ways to move yourself forward. This is how you grow.

What I wanted originally when I joined Transformation.com was a place to help share this story. I wanted to show people where this group came from and what we accomplished. I wanted to share the message of hope. I wanted to celebrate what could be done when you learn to let go of fears and reach for things which initially seem impossible. The idea of “Being the Change” seemed like the way to do that.

It didn’t quite work the way I anticipated it would. As I see it now, it’s worked out better. You see, I choose to look back and take the positive from all this. Bill Phillips started me on this journey. Without Body-for-LIFE, I wouldn’t be here today. He also gave me an amazing video to share with the world. I thank him for that.

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Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!
-Defying Gravity, Wicked! The Musical
 

It’s time to trust my instincts. It’s time to take that exhilarating, frightening, long overdue leap and use the opportunity I’ve been given to help others learn that they, too, can Change for the Better.

Click below to go to the new site and watch the video 

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The Middle

Posted on May 4, 2011 by BYOO

Beginnings – Part One of Three

This is Part Two of Three

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Making a physical transformation is one of the ultimate acts of faith. Losing weight and changing your body is about more than just shifting pounds. I like to say it’s a simple process, but the reality is that simple doesn’t mean easy. Losing weight challenges your very sense of self. It’s about letting go of things you’ve believed to be true for years. It’s about learning to be brutally honest with yourself.

That honesty is scary. Honesty is important to me. I like to think people are being honest on a daily basis. The reality is deep down my body would recognize the little lies that I would tell daily. You know the ones. A little more won’t hurt. It’s a low fat food. Or my personal favorite: I’ll start tomorrow. Tell yourself those lies day in and day out and makes it hard to trust yourself. You start to look for someone else to believe in. If I could find something or someone to hang on to, that support might help to rebuild my own broken confidence.

It’s natural to look for a mentor, a leader, or a role model, although I didn’t realize I was doing that at the time. Humans want to find someone who can show us the path. In years past, this could be a challenge. Seven years ago, with over 100 pounds to lose, it was difficult to find people to relate to. There were periodic stories on late night infomercials or in women’s magazines. The wise individual treated those claims with skepticism. If it sounded too good to be true, odds on it was.

In the late 1990’s all that changed. Bill Phillips’ Body-for-LIFE program generated a fitness revolution. For the first time ever, I could see before and after shots which seemed real. Combining those photos with powerful stories of change and slick marketing, Phillips was able to reach out to a wide segment of the population. These were real people. The stories rang true. I could relate to the struggles.  Reading Kelly Adair’s words I could find myself starting to think that maybe, just maybe, it was possible to make a major change. I wasn’t going to look like a cover model in 12 weeks, but maybe one day I could actually look normal.

That maybe is all it took to ignite the spark. That spark flared up, and ignited hope.  All this was fed by the words and images of Kelly, Porter Freeman and others. If they can do it, maybe I can, too. In that first 12 weeks I took a leap of faith. I did what others around the country were doing. You stop lying to yourself. You don’t promise to start tomorrow. You realize that tomorrow is today. You hold yourself to a higher standard. Maybe for the first time ever what you say is what you do.

That act of faith gave me back my honesty and integrity. It gave me back the person I’ve always had the potential to be. It was everything I wanted, and so much more. For so many people this is where it all stops. The changes are made, and it just seems to stop there. So many of them end up going backward. That’s not what I wanted to do. There was so much I’d changed. I had a question repeating in my head, “What’s Next?”

Click to read The End? It’s More Like Beginning – Part Three of Three

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Beginnings

Posted on May 3, 2011 by BYOO

 Part One of Three

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In the beginning there is so much pain.

I want to believe. I want to be able to trust that what you tell me is the truth.

So many people around me lie. Politicians twist and spin data until it bears no resemblance to reality. My coworkers and I share half truths and lies all day. We tell each other what we want to hear, not what truly is. My kids have learned to tell those same lies and half truths. Did you do your homework? Yes? Really? No. My pastor stands at the pulpit and admonishes us to be truthful and honorable. Rumor has it that he has a girlfriend two towns over.

Worst of all, I lie to myself and give myself excuse after excuse for why I can’t move forward. I make promises to myself to change, but deep down I don’t believe them.

I’m drowning in a sea of lies and half truths. I don’t just want to believe you. I need to trust you. I know that trusting you now may be key to moving forward. Trusting what you tell me is the key to learning to trust myself.

I need your words and actions to match up, to align. Show me how to talk a good game. Show me how to act on my words and desires. Show me a path I can follow. Don’t force me to be a clone of you. Help me find the path to be the best me that I can be. Lead me with integrity and compassion. Don’t be one more person who will break my trust.

Show me what it means to be the better than the sum of my parts.

Click to read The Middle – Part Two of Three

 

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Is It Worth Dying For?

Posted on March 21, 2011 by BYOO

by Guest Blogger Richard “Rico” Brown

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After a heart attack, physicians recommend that the patient participate in a cardiac rehab program. Cardiac rehab is more than just physical exercise. It’s purpose is to educate the patient on the lifestyle changes required to live a long, healthy and productive life. Many find the emotional, spiritual and physical support they need to overcome their new test in life through cardiac rehab. 

One of the things that the doctors want you to learn in rehab is how to avoid and handle stress. I’ll never forget a phrase that I heard during therapy that really resonated with me. When you find things in life that stress you, things that cause you anxiety, you have to ask yourself:  “Is this worth dying for? because this one thing could be what kills you.” That question is so powerful. 

Let’s explore this question and take it a step further. Let’s go beyond the subject of stress. Let’s go to other things that affect our health, and ask the same question. Is this worth dying for?

Is smoking cigarettes worth dying for?

Is gorging my body with unhealthy food worth dying for?

Is being in my comfort zone of unhealthiness worth dying for?

Is (you fill in the blank) worth dying for?

Take the next couple of days and spend some time contemplating on what negative, unhealthy things are in your life that keeps you from progressing and moving forward towards being the healthy and happy person you want and deserve to be. Make a decision to take the necessary steps to remove the negative and unhealthy and replace it with healthy and positive.

Richard Brown

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You Made a Difference

Posted on March 16, 2011 by BYOO

by Guest Blogger Clara K. Showalter

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Congratulations, you made a difference.  

Sara Lake is a supplement distributor, personal trainer, and graduate student living in Christchurch. She’s one of the thousands of residents who have been impacted by the February earthquake. Her home suffered some damage. For the past several weeks she’s been dealing with power issues and water supply issues. Imagine having to ration water for drinking and bathing when you are a trainer. You’re used to unlimited access to water to keep hydrated. You can shower as needed after working with clients. In an instant, that luxury is gone. Sure it’s not the end of the world, but it is stressful. Sidewalks around the neighborhood are buckled, meaning you have to pick your way along the road carefully. What used to be a nice walk is now a potential sprained ankle, waiting to happen. Even her cats are having a rough time of it. Every aftershock sends them fleeing from the swaying house. Out into the garden they go. It’s safer to sleep outside, away from the wobbly house. 

Go down the road a bit and you find her favorite grocery store in the local strip center. The damage is so serious they will not be re-opening. It’s an inconvenience for her. The wine expert at this location was excellent, and they had a wonderful selection of organic foods. For the employees of the store, it’s a bit more.  There’s a lost job. Hopefully the chain will be able to move them to a new location. For the owner of the strip center, it’s a major loss of rent. Not only does he face rebuilding, he faces the stress of trying to figure out how to pay his bills as he takes a hit. 

Moving closer to the center of town, you see more damage. There is major buckling of roads in some places, impassable roads in others. We all know what it’s like when you have a single major road in your area facing construction. In Christchurch, you’ve lost the ability to directly go from point A to point B. There will be months of road construction to get things passable again. Houses are reduced to rubble. As you pass one flattened residence, you see a man with tears rolling down his face. This was his dream home, the home he worked years to get. In an instant it’s been reduced to a pile of timber and stone. 

You approach downtown. Once you’d have been greeted by the landmark spire of the Christchurch Cathedral. Now it’s gone. 100 years of history, the pride of Christchurch is just gone. The Wizard of Christchurch says he’s moving on as well. No spire means no place to preach his own form of gospel to those who pass. In some places, people still aren’t being allowed in. It’s just too dangerous. Outside a security barrier stands a family, hands joined in prayer. Rescue stopped several weeks ago. Now they are looking for bodies. This family prays they’ll find something. There are bodies pulverized beyond recognition still buried in the debris. For those families there may never be closure. 

This is Christchurch. These are the people you helped with your run. Your actions don’t seem like much. Money can’t replace some losses. The thing is, it’s not just about the money. Your actions let the citizens of Christchurch know that they are not alone, and they are not forgotten. 

Your actions made a difference. Thank you.

It’s not too late… you can still donate. Click here. 

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Your Change can make a Difference

Posted on March 7, 2011 by BYOO

by Guest Blogger Clara K. Showalter

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One of the components of the Body for Life program which has made the biggest impact on me is the Universal Law of Reciprocation. The idea is pretty simple. Do something good for someone else. Don’t do it as something you mark off on a list. Do it because you think it’s really the right thing to do. 

For most of us, the reality is we aren’t nearly as bad off as it may seem. Reaching out to do good things is a great way to remind yourself about what’s really important. Again, it’s not about keeping track. It’s about reaching out to help others at a point where they are struggling. 
 
File:ChristChurchCathedral1 gobeirne.jpg
(Christchurch Cathedral Greg O’Beirn GDFL.Creative Commons via wikipedia)

On February 22, Christchurch New Zealand was rocked by an earthquake. This is a city the size of Oakland, CA. Nearly 1/3 of the buildings in the city center have been destroyed, 166 people have died, and hundreds more are injured. The city faces years of rebuilding efforts and is never going to be the same again. 

(AFP)

Faced with this tragedy, a group of friends from New Zealand decided to set up a virtual Run for Christchurch. The idea is simple. Wherever you are in the world, this weekend get out there and do a 5k run. If you can’t run, bike. If you can’t bike walk. Wear red and black for your event (the colors of the local Christchurch rugby club). Then donate. You can go as little as $5 NZ (http://www.fundraiseonline.co.nz/run4chch/ ) That’s $3.71 as of current exchange rates by the way. 
 
Run for Christchurch
(link to website- http://run4chch.wordpress.com/) 
 
That’s it. Get up, do good, and go run. There’s no melodrama, no race to be the best, it’s just about doing something for someone who needs help, then doing something to help you. 

So here’s the challenge. You’ve been feeling kind of down the last few months? It’s time to step up and make that change. Check your pockets for change, toss out all the spare lint. Decide what you can spare, then donate (http://www.fundraiseonline.co.nz/run4chch/ ). This weekend, get out there and do something, just make sure it’s 5k worth of something . Heck, I don’t care if you walk the mall! Just get out there and do it. Encourage your friends to do it. Have some fun. 

Remember why you started your transformation in the first place. Then help Christchurch and the people there as they go through their own transformation. 
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10 Magical Rules That Can Change Your Life

Posted on March 3, 2011 by BYOO

by Guest Blogger Dianne Orwig

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Life can be magical when you have a clear set of personal rules to live by. Here are my top 10 rules for living a happy, abundant life. (I hope they inspire you to create your own set of rules for living life to the fullest!)

Life Rule #1: Look for what pleases you, rather than what annoys you

Whether it’s your partner, your brother, your pet, home, or work, try pointing the majority of your attention toward the things you really love and appreciate, rather than looking for the things you find annoying or irritating.

Life Rule #2: Have a life that is yours alone

Try, as much as possible, to live a life that is not tied too closely to the actions and opinions of others. Do what you love and love what you do.

Life Rule#3: Appreciate where you are now

As you make your way toward your ultimate goals and dreams, make an intentional effort to love where you are on the way there. Find at least one thing about your life RIGHT NOW that satisfies you.

Life Rule #4: Have some fun

Laugh, dance, do something silly. Watch a funny movie, go for a swim, have lobster for dinner. Whatever you think is fun, pick one thing per day and Just Do It!

Life Rule #5: Say what you need to say

Don’t hold back… if you want to say, “I love you,” say it. If you need to say, “You hurt me,” say that too.

Life Rule #6: Surround yourself with people you love

Make a list of the people who make you feel safe, inspired, happy, or motivated. Keep them close and let them know, on a regular basis, how much they mean to you.

Life Rule #7: Forget About the money (at least for a little while)

Money makes the world go round, BUT if everything you do is based solely on the monetary value, you’re destined to miss a lot of life on the way to your “riches.” Make a habit of doing something every day that you would do regardless of whether you ever see a dime for your efforts or not.

Life Rule #8: Be a duck – let things roll off your back

Contrary to popular belief, life is not about struggle, hardship and pain. Often, simply deciding that you will look the other way, turn the other cheek, or smile and say “no problem,” can spell the difference between misery and happiness. It’s always your choice.

Life Rule #9: Do a DRAK (Daily Random Act of Kindness)

Hold the elevator, wave the other car in, in fact, let two in, pay the next guy’s toll, tell someone they smell really good. Find someone to compliment and do it.

Life Rule#10: Take care of the vehicle you’ve been given

In a world where most of our time is spent taking care of others – your boss, your children, a friend in need, our significant other – it’s important to remember that it’s our physical bodies that take us from point “A” to point “B.” Without it, it’s impossible to take care of anything or anyone else. Make self care top priority.

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Dianne Orwig
Founder and creator of LivingFit Online
www.lovelivingfit.com

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As Time Goes On

Posted on February 23, 2011 by BYOO

by Guest Blogger Troy “Zooman” Cook

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When I posted my reasons for leaving Transformation.com late last year and was kicked off shortly after, I assumed that would have been the end of that. No more hearing about T.com and what Bill Phillips was doing.

I knew Michelle was starting to put together a blog about peoples’ experiences dealing with Bill and with other occurrences on that site. I, like a few of my other friends, thought after a few months this whole thing would die off and go away.

It hasn’t.

It seems like there is still trouble in paradise. Every few days it seems I’m getting friend requests from people on Facebook who are on or who have left T.com. They have questions. The first one is usually how did the apology go with Bill and was he sincere about it?  Did he meet with Michelle, Clara and Beau along with me or were the meetings done individually. My response to them is that I was never due an apology, I wanted it for a friend of mine. Bill has never apologized directly to the people involved. There were promises made, then no follow through. I feel he never planned to. This was just a little dramatic acting on his part to shift the blame from him and make it appear that all would be taken care of, while making him look like the good guy again.  

As a matter of fact, instead of apologies most of the people he said he was going to apologize to he has hit with cease and desist orders from his attorney. That doesn’t look like an apology to me.

The other thing I have people that friend me on Facebook talk about is how the site seems to be totally different than it was two years ago. They talk about it losing that friendship, support, and family-like feeling which promoted Christian-type values to one of an all-out commercialized marketing campaign bordering on a cult-like worship of Bill, who hardly appears on the site anymore unless it’s to clean up
another mess that has hit the forums.

The latest mess was the awarding of the Holiday Challenge winners. T.com does a couple of challenges during the year. In past years, there have been challenges which award special status to people who complete them. These aren’t the big challenges. They are more like the old BFL Sprint type challenges. Winners typically have gotten a special badge by their name, a small dollar award, and free admission to one of the bigger T.com events, like the Denver or Dallas marathons.

Now there are always people who don’t win who think they should. It happens everywhere. This year the winners were named and a few folks felt they should have won. Again, that’s normal. People get disappointed and frustrated. This time a couple of them were upset enough they posted they were leaving the site. One in particular wrote that he was disappointed and was leaving. Soon after that post, Bill made came out and said there was an “oversight” and awarded this person a spot as one of the winners.

This opened up a little debate about poor sportsmanship. The thread ran a little bit, then was deleted. Once again, any time something that doesn’t seem to walk the line goes up, it comes back down.

How can this actually be a good way to reward anyone who has entered a challenge?  It’s supposed to be about transforming your inside, not just the outside. It’s okay to be a little disappointed if you don’t win. You set out to lose the weight, you shoot for that milestone goal and then you hit it. Then you don’t get any recognition because it seems like you don’t know the right people or aren’t popular. You enter over and over again, and see some of the same people getting recognized, but they don’t make any changes. You can work it around in your head so that it makes sense. They obviously made some changes you just can’t see. But then you get someone “winning” because they complained about it? You don’t know any more if it’s about the best winning or just about the squeaky wheel always getting the grease.
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There are other things that are going on over there that really call past rules into question. There are several members who are peddling other products that either Bill endorses or doesn’t know about. Why have several people been kicked off the site for similar behavior in past years? They were accused of trying to sway people away from his site for their personal benefit or had other agendas different from his. Heck, if you posted a link to a product you liked, a lot of the time it got deleted because it “violated site policies.” If you posted a link to a personal blog, that could get you in trouble. If these people are pushing other products to members I’m just guessing Bill doesn’t know. If he does know, then I guess he doesn’t care now.

It seems as though the more time that passes the more contradictory that site becomes.

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What good can come from it?

Posted on February 17, 2011 by BYOO

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When this blog first began, the following comment was left.

 “I do not understand why this has to be done and what good can come from it.”

It’s a good question.  There may be people who believe that putting this blog up is a petty act. There may be individuals who only see it as an ongoing exercise in anger and blame. What is the purpose here? Why does this need to be up? How does this help? What good comes from this?

Keeping silent doesn’t make fear go away. It makes it worse. It creates fears so deep and so dark, they eat you alive from the inside out. Learning how to speak up and face those fears is one of the key lessons from Body for Life. 

“Do feared things first.”– Bill Phillips

Going through your day being afraid of saying something that will cause offense is no way to live. Being on a fitness support site and being afraid to give support isn’t right. Being afraid that you’ll say the wrong thing and get kicked off isn’t right. It’s just not right to live in fear every day. 

If I’m willing to stand up and say something, it shows others that they have the power to stand up. I learned to stop living with fear. If I’m not going to live in fear, I need to stand up and lead by example. 

It’s the same with the weight loss. Every time I share my story, someone realizes it’s not just them. They see that it is possible to lose the weight. They see that they can make this happen because I did it. By telling my story, they find something they can hold on to, something that helps them find a way forward.

I’ve moved forward. I’ve lost the weight. That doesn’t mean I stop telling the story. It helps people. This is the same thing. There are people who are asking questions. There are people who are scared to say something. There are people who still need to know others feel the same way. That’s why this has to be done. So others know they are not alone. Every time someone reaches out and says, “I thought it was just me”, this is something good. They know it’s not just them.

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What’s your Success Story?

Posted on February 16, 2011 by BYOO

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If you are reading this blog, you probably know that the bestselling book, Body-for-LIFE, and it’s message have been invaluable in helping thousands of people change their minds, change their bodies and change their lives.  

The book and it’s simple yet not easy program was instrumental in starting me on the path  to losing and keeping off just over 100 pounds of fat and gaining a life that I had only dreamed possible.

I’d love to hear how you’ve used the contents of the book to move your life forward. What lessons have you learned and implemented to make you successful in your weight loss journey? What would you share with others to help encourage them on their journey?What’s your success story? 

Reach out and share with us the positive that Body-for-LIFE has brought into your life. It’s important to share our accomplishments and  your shared win  just might make all the difference in someone else’s own success story.

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Today I’m Pushing Delete

Posted on February 1, 2011 by BYOO

When I established BYOO, I determined that I wanted to give people an opportunity to have their voice heard. For years, I was not able to speak up and make myself heard. One of the gifts BFL gave me was the strength and courage to speak up and give my words life. The most difficult part of my time on T.com was the fact that after finding my voice, I felt that it was taken away from me again.

A few days ago, Brett contacted me and asked that I remove comments he made on some previous discussions. He was concerned about what he’d put out into the world. I understand that concern, but believe that it’s important to give voice to both good and bad. That’s how you find true power and strength. It’s how you find your own Oz. Rather than further stifle his voice, I asked him to consider writing a blog expressing the positives he’s finding in this process. This is his story of learning to “listen to his inner self and transform”.

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by Guest Blogger Brett

Since Michelle asked me to be a guest blogger for BYOO, I have been overwhelmed with thoughts about what to write. I have started and re-started my story, only to delete it and think, “That doesn’t tell my whole story.” How do I describe how Transformation has consumed my thinking for the last few years? How do I convey how it has thrown me back and forth with my feelings towards it, between what I wanted it to be and what it actually has become?

I could go on about how I too thought Transformation was my promised land. How I thought I had finally found what I was meant to do with my life when I found Transformation. I truly thought it was a calling for me. Or how I let it take over parts of my life, because it seemed to have a moral high ground that I wanted to be part of my life. And how that idea came crashing down time and time when facing reality.

There are good things about Transformation – the people there that really do care about the message; the people who open their hearts up to others in an effort to help others; the stories of overcoming addictions and past tragedies; and the steps that show people how to live a healthy and happy life. I loved all those aspects of Transformation.

But there are also the not-so-good things about Transformation – not being able to have your own voice and the need to follow the opinion of one man; the idea that one way is the only way; the confrontational approach that others take when something is questioned; and the message of how the site is truly about “inner” change while it bombards you with photos of “champions” showing off their “outer” half-naked, muscular bodies.

The elements of Transformation have been a conflict for me since I first found the site. There are the friends that I had there. But at the same time, there are people there who used confidential information I shared with them to question the motives of some other people on the site that I knew. There is the idea that forgiveness of others is a step in your inner transformation. But at the same time, there was a time when I was told I needed to just “back away for a little while,” so those in charge might forget about something that happened and allow me to return. There are the “champions” who were so open to listening and sharing their insight with you. But at the same time, there are “champions” who do not allow others to have a voice, who condescend others when they do try to question something about the process, and who only follow the opinions of Mr. Phillips. How can a program that is based on “inner” transformation of each individual also have a foundation of allowing there to be only voice? 

Last week, I was watching a church program with the Rev. Dr. Jim Keck of the First Plymouth Congregational Church of Lincoln, NE. He said, “The idea of people all thinking exactly alike and not having disagreements, that sounds creepy to me. Any institution that promotes ‘group think’ or some forced unanimity of opinion, that’s creepy. We don’t gather at church to drink the Kool Aid; we gather to drink from the cup of the new covenant and that cup of Christ honors our differences and diversity as individuals. Any institution that promotes ‘group think,’ that’s more of a cult than a church of Jesus Christ.” I thought to myself while he was speaking those words, “Wow. That is so like Transformation.” It was that way from the beginning but I was blinded by my wanting of approval by others to see it. It is that way more than ever now.

I love the message of Transformation. I love the thought that we should want everyone to be healthy and happy. I love the idea that eating good food, exercising, and taking the time to love yourself and others is truly the RIGHT way to live. I love that message. But, honestly, I loved those thoughts before I found Transformation. I simply had not chosen to live my life according to that message. I do not need the site anymore for me to truly understand that message, however, I understand that there some people who may. Some people out there who are still looking for someone to lead them to find a path to living their best lives. I wish the site was truly about that, but it always seemed to be heading in another direction.

I had a friend tell me once (the same friend who got me and my computer banned from Transformation.com last year – that is another story) that in the future the site would become just like every other “self-help” site on the internet. It would be just like all the other sites created based on selling a book. Books created by authors outlining the steps and guiding us on how to live our best lives. Of course, it would go hand-in-hand with the idea that your “best life” really only happens if you buy the DVD’s and nutrition bars that go to help you along the way. Starting today, with the release of the “Transformation Solution,” his prediction has become true. I found it truly ironic that on the day that I sat down to write this blog about my torn feelings about Transformation, an ad for the Transformation Solution froze my computer after it popped up on my screen and I tried to delete it. That was a message from somewhere that did not go unnoticed.

The wonderful concept that I thought that the site was truly about, has transformed itself into an infomercial. When I found the site, I thought it was bound for greatness. Instead, it seems it is bound for late-night television. That is truly the saddest part of this story. It has, in an instant (but a well-calculated and planned out instant), become the next Snuggy and Gold-For-Cash of the self-help industry.

It’s funny how this site had owned my life for the better part of two years. I was hooked with the message from the very beginning. I was searching for something better and I thought Transformation was that missing element in my life. It has caused feelings of happiness in me and heart ache at the same time. I thought I needed Transformation to find my inner-self but all I really needed to do was to listen to my inner-self and transform. 

Transformation has played a major role in leading me to where I am today. Today, I am a man ready to move on. I am a man who does not need to follow in order to understand where I need to go. I realized, after writing this final version of this blog, what I really wanted to say in it is that I’m finally ready to say “good-bye” to Transformation and move on with my life. Like my computer, my life was frozen by what was offered. Today, I’m pushing delete.

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Negative and Positive

Posted on January 31, 2011 by BYOO

by Guest Blogger Clara K. Showalter

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There’s a lot of talk about how negative the world is. We are bombarded by negative images in the media, ads telling us how to look, what to drink, and how to eat flood our televisions. Any story that offers data someone doesn’t approve of is considered negative, and as such is viewed as not important. I hear people talking about the need to remove negative images from daily life.

Yet doing that doesn’t solve the real issues. Say we stop television broadcast of the video coming out of Egypt. There are many who view those images as negative and violent. Yet I’d be hard pressed to find someone who can persuade me that the information coming from those images isn’t important. Now is it possible to be flooded by those images? Absolutely. That’s why it’s important to educate yourself and understand where that information is coming from and why it’s important.

Information isn’t positive or negative. That bias is applied by individuals. Understanding why that bias is applied is a step in the process of educating yourself and forming a solid opinion. Negative or positive, it’s just opposite views on pieces of data. When you see a piece of information which challenges your world view, ask why? Then start looking at the data and dig deeper. There’s something in the situation which makes people feel so passionate about the event, they feel the need to speak up. That tells you something.

Before you jump up and down accusing someone of negative thinking, take the time to look at what’s being said. Ask yourself questions. Is this information that I may need to know? Can information in this discussion change my outlook on a situation? What makes this person feel so passionately about this subject?

Collect data, review the data, THEN make an informed decision. Don’t jump to conclusions just because the information provided doesn’t match your world view.

This is one of the ways you grow past your own boundaries and limits and move forward.

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The Heart of the Matter

Posted on January 25, 2011 by BYOO

by Guest Blogger Richard “Rico” Brown

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For those who may not be familiar with my story, on April 4, 2004 I suffered a heart attack. I was only 38 years old. I died twice that night before I was stabilized. At the time I was 50lbs overweight, a three pack-a-day cigarette smoker, workaholic and food junkie. My life was miserable.

Because of my addictions and bad choices, I had damaged my body enough that the result was the heart attack. I was a husband and father of 5 children and because of those addictions and bad choices, I almost made my wife a widow and left my children without a father.

That night God was gracious enough to give me a 2nd chance at life.  And you know what? I have taken it and run with it. As a result of my transformation, Bill Phillips produced a video documenting my story.

Richard Brown’s Second Chance

Recently I had to give my “heart of the matter” speech to a loved one. It went something like this: 

When I had my heart attack I came to the realization that I had two choices: I could continue my way of life and end up literally killing myself, or I could decide to totally transform my life. Eat healthy, and exercise. Replace negative with positive. Put God first in my life instead of last.

I had to decide that the loved ones in my life were worth living for. I had to decide that my family was worth all the changes that I would make. I had to decide that I was worth all the effort and change.

So…………..What will you decide? Is this the year that you do it, or will you be entangled and lose yourself in the abyss, caught up in the snares of everyday DYING?

The heart of the matter is this:

1. It is your call. You can decide to embark on a new journey.

2. Once you make that decision, there is a ton of support available to help you.

3. There is so much more to the journey than six pack abs and prizes. This is about LIVING. This is about your life and what you are going to do with it!

Are you living to die or are you dying to LIVE?

Richard  Brown

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Using a Hammer when a Telephone would have done the job

Posted on November 29, 2010 by Michelle Treichel

The topic of cease and desist letters is an interesting one. It seems that blogs give voice to what people are thinking (but not saying in traditional media) as well as those facts that are known, but not widely published. If a blogger then says what everyone is thinking or reveals a fact that isn’t widely known (and which gets someone’s knickers all twisted up), then there is a possibility of the cease and desist letter. It’s the “I don’t like what you said, so I’m going to do this as a way of complaining.”

They are perhaps a move against “transparency.” ~ Jill Hurst-Wahl

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It was never my intention to speak poorly of Bill Phillips. When people asked me why I was no longer involved with his website, Transformation.com, I wouldn’t talk about it. I knew that I didn’t want to take away from people the possible benefit that they may have gotten from using his program. I knew that people were counting on him to be what he was presenting to the world because I had been in their shoes once upon a time.

My intention was to just start feeling better, to start feeling like myself again. Because I wasn’t speaking about what had been such a big part of my life, I wasn’t able to show up in my world honestly and authentically, something I had worked extremely hard at the previous four years.  That was a major part of the process of losing the 100 pounds and keeping it off, being honest with myself and others.

Since I put my story up on this blog, I’ve had the opportunity to speak with many others who’ve had similar experiences with Bill over the years. For the first time in over a year, I’ve been able to speak freely and  I’ve been able to step back into my community of support. I do feel better. I’ve started to heal from what should have been a truly remarkable experience but alas was not.

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Although he said he would on more than one occasion, Bill has not been in contact with me directly. He personally has not been in contact with any of the people he said he would be in touch with since the main blowup on T.com back in September. His lawyers, however,  have been in contact with at least three of us, in the form of emailed Cease and Desist Letters.

The way I see it, I have several options. I can leave this blog up with all the comments, knowing full well that this is information that others need and want to see so that they will know they are not alone.  If I leave it up the way it is now, I’ll probably be looking at hiring a lawyer. Free speech isn’t free and he’s got the ability to make my life quite uncomfortable. The man’s got millions, and me, well, not so much. He can put a lid on just about any negative information about himself out on the web and now I understand how. 

Second option - I can remove only the comments that the emailed cease and desist letter specifically highlights. 

Third option - I take the blog down entirely and be done with this.  That means the next Michelle Treichel or ***** ***** or ***** ***** or **** *******or ***** ****** or *** ********* (names have intentionally been left off to protect the identities of others that have had similar dealings with BP that I’ve spoken to personally) that goes looking for information to see what kind of a guy Bill Phillips is since they’ve been offered a job working for the man won’t have a clue what he’s been like to so many people. 

If I lived in a world where I had unlimited resources, I could fight for what  is right.  I know what I’d like to do and yes, I know I’ve given too much head and heart space to this already.

My intention was to feel better.  I do feel better.

On Tuesday, November 23 I was advised I have 10 days to cease and desist. From the looks of the email I received, he’s concerned with two particular comments made by one person to Linda’s Guest Blog. 

And to think… all of this could have been taken care of with a simple phone call on Bill’s part. No grandiose gestures.  A simple phone call. 

When Bill said he felt the country could be completely transformed in 10 years—one person at a time – who would have thought he wasn’t including himself?

 

 

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Why I Left Transformation.com by Troy "Zooman" Cook

Posted on November 11, 2010 by Michelle Treichel

Part Two of Two

by Guest Blogger Troy “Zooman” Cook

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When you go out looking for the truth, there’s good odds you are going to find it. Chances are good it may not be what you expected. That doesn’t mean you don’t go looking. I learned that lesson 18 years ago when I hit rock bottom and asked the Lord for help. I had to face down some hard truths about who I’d become. It wasn’t easy, but it needed doing. You can’t run from things, you have to learn to face them.

It was mid July and I was getting more and more information that I didn’t like. Earlier that month, site Head Coach Grimes had been abruptly removed from the site. It was presented that he had decided to move on, but it struck folks kind of odd that his account had been totally deleted. All of his blogs were just gone. People were understandably upset and confused. If he left on good terms, why was his profile gone?

I’d made the decision to reach out to another former Transformation.com member, Michelle T. She’d abruptly left the site the previous year while she was a featured story. I’d asked her a few times before what happened. She refused to discuss it. I was heading to an Austin T.com meeting and decided to call her and ask again. After listening to me explain my concerns for a bit, she agreed to meet up with me to talk. Over lunch we shared our stories. (Read Why I Left Transformation.com by MichelleT here) I was shocked, but at the same time it fit in with other things I was hearing.

We left that meeting not really sure what was going to happen next. I knew one thing, I had to keep looking. As August went past I got more stories and more information. It seemed that Stoney hadn’t just been hitting on my friend. I spoke with several women who he’d approached. It felt like he was using the information from their assignments to target them. This was a pattern I’d seen before when I was going through AA.  In other cases he was approaching them as a Christian, using their faith to manipulate them into uncomfortable situations.

As a Christian and as a recovering alcoholic, both things upset me. In AA they made it clear that you were not supposed to engage in relationships with the people you were sponsoring. People are vulnerable when they are working through things and a sponsor is in a position to manipulate them.

I sent a message to the site voicing my concerns. I got a form letter back that didn’t answer anything. I was done. I wanted out. I started deleting my profile information. Only thing was, I couldn’t get my actual profile off. I didn’t want to be a shadow account. I wanted to be gone. I figured there was one sure way to get totally kicked off the site. Start a thread talking about what I thought was happening.

On September 12th I posted a thread on Bill Phillips’ web site Transformation.com. In that post I stated the reasons I was leaving the site. I felt if I mentioned some of the things that were happening on the site that my profile would be totally deleted, which is ultimately what I wanted.

I described how 2 years earlier Bill sent me an email via the site basically getting on me about a remark I jokingly made on a picture he had posted on his profile. That event left a bad taste in my mouth. I also discussed how I believed Coach Grimes was using the site and the 18 assignments to take advantage of women on the site, including a friend of mine based on discussions with her and several other women on the site.

I felt within a few hours I would be removed from the site like many of my friends had been removed over that two plus year period. After my post, I felt my profile would be deleted and possibly someone from the site would contact me to discuss my allegations.  To my great surprise, Bill or the powers that be decided to leave my post up. As a matter of fact, Bill was the second person to respond to my thread, offering an apology. He then said how I had reacted out of emotion with my other statements and would like to meet in person to address these accusations, apologize to the people I mentioned and discuss ways to prevent similar occurrences.

At that point in time I thought Bill didn’t know what I had found out about Coach Grimes. I wasn’t speaking from emotion, but from fact, and was hoping that several people would eventually come forward to validate what I was claiming. I did think though, that once the first person came forward to validate what I had to say, the thread would be deleted.

Well, people did validate my claims. The thread rapidly grew to twelve pages. I started to hope there would be some real change. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I’d been deleted, then undeleted and asked to come back on to answer Bill. What bugged me was how people were acting. I’d have folks telling me in private thank you. But they wouldn’t say it in public. There were other people who were supposed to be senior members of the community who just were ripping people for coming out and verifying what I’d said.  I was floored that a site that was created to help people change or transform their lives so they could regain their health and spiritual well being could post the statements they did. People were downright mean.

When the post first started generating responses, I had a lot of people email me via Facebook, personal email, my work email and text congratulating me and telling me I had done a noble thing. That it took a lot of courage for me to do that. I got messages that they knew stuff like this was going on and someone needed to speak up. But when the site was shut down for “maintenance” some of the same people starting asking me what was the point of my post and how was this helping others. When Bill’s profile disappeared a few days after that the messages got really ugly. I got messages from a several champions even telling me I needed to work more on these 18 assignments and I had no right to accuse Bill of anything and that these women knew what they were getting themselves into. Soon after that I was removed for good.

What happened to doing the right thing? What happened to getting rid of concealment? What happened?

I sit here and still wonder how it all got to this. From me getting involved in a vision that I believed was being led by a well respected fitness expert. His vision was to bring our country from worst to first in ten years in helping Americans regain and maintain their health. What do I do next?

I just keep doing what I’ve been doing only a little different.  I’m involved in a bunch of local area fitness activities including bike events and running charity races. I’ve found a new online community at BFLSpirit.com (TorchSpirit.com) which lets me keep reaching out to help people and doesn’t make people feel scared to speak up. Being the change isn’t about being some guru. It’s helping people find what works good for them, encouraging them, and supporting them.

Just like AA, that change happens one day at a time.

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Why I Left Transformation.com by Troy "Zooman" Cook

Posted on November 9, 2010 by Michelle Treichel

Part One of Two

by Guest Blogger Troy “Zooman” Cook

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I think it was meeting Michelle T. for a face to face talk before an Austin Transformation.com meet up a couple of months ago that got me thinking. Like a lot of folks on the site, I’d been impressed and inspired by her transformation story. We had never really gotten a chance to talk much since we didn’t float through the same circles. After she left the site, I ran into her at a Texas area event and asked her why she’d left. She looked me in the eye and said, “I’m not going to talk about it.” So I left things alone.

This time was somehow different. This time I needed some answers to help me understand what I was seeing and hearing. I had received a text from a former Body-for-LIFE runner up who is a friend of mine. I was questioning things. This friend asked me if I was “still on that site” and I replied yes, but I was having my doubts. She went on to tell me some things about Bill and how he’d treated one his T.com champs during the Denver event in October of 2009. That got me thinking and worrying about other things that were going on behind the scenes with the site.

I decided to contact the T.com champion. We talked for a while and she shared with me what Bill had done and said to her in Denver. The way he treated her after she posted an assignment and then her resulting dismissal from the site. It was all very odd and bizarre, but again, it was like other stories I was hearing about Bill. I talked to Michelle about this and more and she shared with me her experiences on the site and what went on leading up to her departure from the site.

There was no discussion about what we’d do next, but I think we both knew from that point on we needed to speak out and be a voice that needed to heard on and off the site. It was from that point I stepped back and started recollecting my journey on T.com from where it started and to ultimately where it has gone.

I found the site through my friend Jonnae Taylor.  She was fighting a losing battle with leukemia. We were pen pals and she had written to tell me Bill Phillips had paid a visit to her home to grant her wish. It was from there that I looked up Transformation.com and was led to the site, more like actually drawn to it. It had a vision, a leader and a mission. It was a mission I thought I could lend a hand in. It was a vision I felt I would be doing some good work helping others and paying what I had learned through Body-for-LIFE forward.

Yet almost from the beginning odd things started to happen. Since I work shift work I could log on to the site at all times and correspond with people from different time zones and from all over the world. It was the late night things that I found odd. Things like Bill responding to a member’s question about whether heavy metal music was appropriate for her spouses’ profile or not, or correcting others for comments they had made in general, only to see Bill’s critical comments deleted by the next morning. It seemed like they were written on the spur of the moment, without thinking about how they might hurt people. And the way the comments were deleted, like he had some of his IT people following him and cleaning up after him. I moved past this and tried to never get involved, but had talked to several of the friends I had made on the site. When Bill posted hurtful and inappropriate things it was a general consensus that this was  once again ”Bill being Bill.”

Several of us got together and started an accountability group. It wasn’t anything official, just 20 – 30 of us and a thread where we all posted. Within a few months, several of those people were deleted for speaking their mind about Dianne Orwig’s profile being deleted. (Read Transforming Turmoil Into Triumph here.) The guy who started the thread was eventually deleted, then allowed to return. He left after he confided in me that he was being censored. He had questioned Bill about the site and the fact that T.com was actually a model plan of a marketing venue.

I put a lot of time, energy and money into the site, helping people with workouts, food choices, encouragement and even helping out financially where I could to make a difference in other’s lives. Later on, I was a leader of an accountability group. I was asked to do this after our team leader had taken a leave from the site.

I took my responsibility seriously. Members of the group were making great changes. I kept noticing that other groups were getting more recognition. I couldn’t understand why. After a few attempts of trying to get some recognition for our group, I felt that the group would have to make it on its own. It began to feel like it was a clique or a circle of whom you knew and who you didn’t offend as far as the group leaders were concerned.

Around this time, one of the site’s senior coaches, Stoney Grimes, made a fairly aggressive pass at a friend of mine. She was uncomfortable enough with what happened that she decided to leave the site. I tried several times to get someone to talk to about the incident. I was counseled to follow my heart on the matter, and told that it would do no good to bring this up to Bill directly or the online community. So I stayed quiet. But my frustration grew.

Several people in my group made some recognition-worthy changes. They didn’t get acknowledgement for their work. It felt like these individuals were denied any recognition due to the fact they were in my group and I’d made some waves.  The people that were recognized got money and a trip to the Make a Wish Denver 2009 Event. One of the people in my group bumped into Head Coach Stoney Grimes and he was totally impressed with the change she had made and made a few comments regarding her changes. After talking to a mutual friend of hers, I then told her what had happened with my friend and the reason I felt our mutual friend (being a member in my group) got no recognition. This was just another example of some of the things I had encountered.

I hung around one person in Denver almost continuously and he mentioned to me that Coach Grimes tensed up every time I got near him. I hadn’t noticed at first but after it was mentioned to me I saw what he was talking about. We also talked about how odd it was that during the meet and greet that afternoon in the area of the hotel that we would be having our seminars that Bill never made an appearance. I found out later on that afternoon, he was there, in a back area, watching from a distance. The only time I heard he would mingle with people was when it was set up more like a controlled photo shoot. I never really sought to go find out, but heard this from several people. It all seemed very odd to me that Bill would be so stand-offish during an event he created.

I guess after Denver I noticed a few more people leaving but nothing really seemed out of place. March 2010 rolled around and we all gathered in Dallas for another event. I had the pleasure after Dallas to open my home up to several members again and we spent most of the week hanging out, talking about the event and talking about future plans.

During this time I had several prominent people in my group delete their profiles. Each one of them stated that it was the 18 assignments that we were working on for each challenge we entered that led them to this decision. Some of the other reasons by various members in our group was that they didn’t feel the need to openly reveal things from their past that they had already dealt with. There was discussion that Coach Grimes would contact and discuss their most personal aspects of what they had revealed. He was telling them things that were not what had been discussed in other talks or threads. People were uncomfortable and started feeling that having that information in a public space was a bad idea. Anyone could find this information. Thing was, it seemed like it was required to have your information out there for everyone to see if they were to be counted in the challenges.

As I questioned my intention and the intentions of others, I began to wonder what had happened to certain individuals and started the process of finding out and asking questions. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was going to find.

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 Excerpt from Part 2 – to be posted Thursday, November 11

 When you go out looking for the truth, there’s good odds you are going to find it. Chances are good it may not be what you expected. That doesn’t mean you don’t go looking. I learned that lesson 18 years ago when I hit rock bottom and asked the Lord for help. I had to face down some hard truths about who I’d become. It wasn’t easy, but it needed doing. You can’t run from things, you have to learn to face them.

 

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