Honesty matters to me. If I tell you I’m going to do something, I do it. That’s one of the things that has helped me keep the weight off.
Once I decided to take the extra weight off, and really decided to do it, that was it. I stopped lying to myself, and I stopped breaking promises to myself. I expect that people are going to do the same. I know that isn’t always the case, but I believe it’s important to hold myself and others to a standard. I don’t need people in my life who lie to me. I’ve earned that honesty. Yes, it might be painful, but through that pain you find growth.
After a year of putting it off, I finally sat down to start reading Bill Phillips’ book Transformation. For many reasons, the book has been a difficult thing for me to look at. It reminds me of broken promises.
I came to the chapter on making amends and found myself grinding my teeth. Last year Bill promised that he was going to reach out and make amends to people he’d hurt. It’s nearly a year later and still nothing. I was served with a cease and desist letter. I don’t quite consider that making amends. Be honest with me. If you have no intention to make amends, then don’t. But don’t set my expectations for something you aren’t going to deliver.
In a way, that sums up my whole experience with Transformation.com. There was so much potential to the site. There were people who believed in the message, and people who wanted to help make the world a better place. There was a promise there, a promise that if you worked hard and followed the rules that you could help make the world a better place.
Yet behind the curtain, it was a different story. Words and actions never seemed to line up.
I can’t, and I won’t live like that.
I read that Bill recently suffered a major injury. He apparently tore his quadriceps tendons on both legs. A bilateral quadriceps tendon rupture is a very rare injury according to the sites I’ve Googled.
Bill is describing it as a result of an old athletic injury. I find myself wondering what the real story is. I hate that. I hate that I have to go through life second guessing what people say and do as a result of what happened on T.com.
It all comes back to broken promises and wasted potential. I spent a lifetime, my lifetime, hiding from things I thought I couldn’t ever do. Because of Body-for-LIFE, I don’t do that anymore. I’m no longer scared or embarrassed of my body when I go shopping or to the beach. I’ve tackled rock walls and ziplines and spoken in public about my weight loss journey. I’ve done things I never believed I’d be able to. I’ve learned to stand up and let my voice be heard. I’ve learned that doing feared things first is the way to live.
Three years ago, I decided I wanted to be the change. I didn’t know what that would look like. I thought T.com was going to be the way to be the change. In some ways it has been. I’ve changed for the better, become stronger, and learned so much. But I still want more. I want what T.com could have been. I still want that place where the people who are successful can reach the people who haven’t been yet. I want people to see that it is possible to lose weight, keep it off, and in the process discover the person you’ve always wanted to be, the person you were meant to be.
I don’t want to lose one more day. I still don’t know what it’s going to look like, but I still want to be the change.
How can we take all that wasted potential and make it into something amazing?