Honesty matters to me. If I tell you I’m going to do something, I do it. That’s one of the things that has helped me keep the weight off.
Once I decided to take the extra weight off, and really decided to do it, that was it. I stopped lying to myself, and I stopped breaking promises to myself. I expect that people are going to do the same. I know that isn’t always the case, but I believe it’s important to hold myself and others to a standard. I don’t need people in my life who lie to me. I’ve earned that honesty. Yes, it might be painful, but through that pain you find growth.
After a year of putting it off, I finally sat down to start reading Bill Phillips’ book Transformation. For many reasons, the book has been a difficult thing for me to look at. It reminds me of broken promises.
I came to the chapter on making amends and found myself grinding my teeth. Last year Bill promised that he was going to reach out and make amends to people he’d hurt. It’s nearly a year later and still nothing. I was served with a cease and desist letter. I don’t quite consider that making amends. Be honest with me. If you have no intention to make amends, then don’t. But don’t set my expectations for something you aren’t going to deliver.
In a way, that sums up my whole experience with Transformation.com. There was so much potential to the site. There were people who believed in the message, and people who wanted to help make the world a better place. There was a promise there, a promise that if you worked hard and followed the rules that you could help make the world a better place.
Yet behind the curtain, it was a different story. Words and actions never seemed to line up.
I can’t, and I won’t live like that.
I read that Bill recently suffered a major injury. He apparently tore his quadriceps tendons on both legs. A bilateral quadriceps tendon rupture is a very rare injury according to the sites I’ve Googled.
Bill is describing it as a result of an old athletic injury. I find myself wondering what the real story is. I hate that. I hate that I have to go through life second guessing what people say and do as a result of what happened on T.com.
It all comes back to broken promises and wasted potential. I spent a lifetime, my lifetime, hiding from things I thought I couldn’t ever do. Because of Body-for-LIFE, I don’t do that anymore. I’m no longer scared or embarrassed of my body when I go shopping or to the beach. I’ve tackled rock walls and ziplines and spoken in public about my weight loss journey. I’ve done things I never believed I’d be able to. I’ve learned to stand up and let my voice be heard. I’ve learned that doing feared things first is the way to live.
Three years ago, I decided I wanted to be the change. I didn’t know what that would look like. I thought T.com was going to be the way to be the change. In some ways it has been. I’ve changed for the better, become stronger, and learned so much. But I still want more. I want what T.com could have been. I still want that place where the people who are successful can reach the people who haven’t been yet. I want people to see that it is possible to lose weight, keep it off, and in the process discover the person you’ve always wanted to be, the person you were meant to be.
I don’t want to lose one more day. I still don’t know what it’s going to look like, but I still want to be the change.
How can we take all that wasted potential and make it into something amazing?
Thank you so much for posting this. You described exactly what is in my heart. When I joined T.Com, I knew the message was one I truly believed in. I still believe in the message, just not the messenger. I left the site, yet am still yearning for what I believed I had found there (does that make sense?). I’m there with you. I don’t want to waste any more time either! There has got to be a way to do this! What a great way to start the day today…by reading this! Thank you!
I relate so much to the disappointment that the site turned out to be the opposite of what I signed on for, but there was still so much to appreciate. I have connected with like minded souls and we will find a way to make another resource that is rooted in love. I am grateful for the healthy and happy way I live today. I hope you can find some peace with the events of the past, as you have such an inspirational story to share. Please don’t let anyone stand in the way of your light. Blessings,
Thanks for posting this. I recently joined the site and found it to be a bit “contrived”. But, on some level, I thought it was “me”. I thought that not being 100% sold on all the Stepford Style Rah Rah just meant that I wasn’t ready to move forward. It really made me feel bad about myself. I saw that Clara posted a link to this on Twitter. Since I got to work at the crack of dawn post my 5 am gut busting boot camp, I had time to read. I wanted to tell you that I immediately deactivated my account.
Thank you for posting this so that I no longer have to think that little voice inside my head saying “run away” isn’t crazy after all. Well… less crazy than originally thought. 🙂
You have a beautiful soul.
love this!! yes…we heard and resonated with the message of “that” site…and learned along the way that the message and the life being lived there were not coherent. we left there still looking for a place to join with like-minded people who want to live out that message to make this world a better place. we choose to make it a better place by interacting with each one we encounter with an attitude of grace and wonder and encouragement. there is something Bigger in that message and as we strive toward its Big-ness I think of U2’s song “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”